Senior Wire
For discerning senior readers


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$30Vossler/One More Story: Baseball in My Blood since Birth. Approx. 750 words.
For a number of childhood years I believed that I would follow Mickey Mantle to become the next home run-smacking center fielder of the New York Yankees. I honestly believed it. Why not? I loved the Yankees. I loved baseball, and played every chance I got.
$30Lawrenzi: Baseball Blues. Approx. 600 words.
Rodney was a dreamer. The opposing pitcher threw the ball over the catcher's head and Rodney was staring at a plane in the sky and failed to see it.
$30Crantz: Ghost in the Box. Approx. 975 words.
“I apologize, we are having technical difficulties.” I did not know what technical difficulties were but it sounded good. Finally, I gave up and stuffed a third of an eaten Milky Way bar in my pocket and popped out of the box.
$30Fowler/Eat Right Now!: Potent Pumpkin Power and Thanksgiving Tradition. Approx. 1100 words plus optional sidebar.
Relax. It’s not that big a deal. It’s just a pumpkin. You can bake it, roast it, stir-fry, steam it, or throw it at Ichabod Crane. You can serve it cubed or mashed, and even make soup, bread, cake, quick breads, and cookies.
$30Handler/Leslie Goes Boom: It Ain’t Fiddler on the Roof, But It’s Still Tradition. Approx. 850 words.
But with age, so too comes reflection. Thanksgiving reminds me that’s it’s once again time to reflect. This allows me to remember the challenges I’ve faced and overcome and the family I have and remain grateful for. I’ve brought back the tradition that was once my favorite.
$30Breslin/Alive and Kidding: My Thanksgiving Turkey Needed a Chainsaw! Approx. 650 words.
By the time I bought everything I needed to make the meal, it ended up costing me so much, I probably could have hired Wolfgang Puck to personally prepare and serve the Thanksgiving dinner for me.
$30Rearick/Puttin’ on the Gritz: Myles To Go Before We Eat. Approx. 850 words.
Preparing for the first Thanksgiving feast, Barbara mutters to herself and quivers. “Would it have killed him to ask me before he invited every Indian in the new country? I’m supposed to entertain strangers dressed in animal skins. Gimme a flippin’ break.”

$45Schlein/Washington Watch 1: Medicare for All? Medicaid for All? Or Status Quo or Worse? Approx. 1875 words.
Former Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell, suggests a new type of public option that allows people between the ages of 55 and 65 to buy into Medicare. This age bracket often has the most trouble finding coverage – and taking that demographic out of the larger coverage pool, he suggests, would substantially reduce the cost that health care plans would have to charge everyone else.
$45Schlein/Washington Watch 2: Trump's War on the Affordable Care Act Approx. 1450 words.
For those over 65, the numbers are even more dramatic. An estimated 81 percent of those age 65 or older have a pre-condition. That would make 47.6 million seniors of the 59.5 million Medicare recipients who could see their pre-existing condition coverage eliminated.
* * * * *
At least so far, none of the plans to increase health care access call for redirecting funds from Medicare to pay for the expansion even most proposals for a full single-payer system leave Medicare untouched.
$30Stinger: Washington Watch cartoon.

$35Ambord/Dollar Sense: Stuff You Should Know to Protect Your Money, Your Resources and Sometimes… Your Pride, Especially during the Holiday Season. Approx. 1450 words
A lot of people are trying to raise money to alleviate suffering. And a lot of people are trying to raise money… because they’re greedy and lazy. In the holiday season, many will step up their effort to pull your heart strings.
$30David/Legal Ease: Squabbling Siblings and All Those Sticky Trust Issues. Approx. 925 words.
After her shock wore off, she became angry and demanded that I turn the proceeds over to her because she was the sole beneficiary of dad’s estate and she said she had proof because he named her as the sole beneficiary in his trust. Is she correct?

$35Slayback/A Healthy Age: Innocent Lettuce/Killer Lettuce. Approx. 750 words.
Yikes! Contaminated food sources from fresh to packaged, without a hint of bad odor. Who’s protecting us from invisible killers in our food?
$30Cohen/Dear Pharmacist: St. John’s Wort, Serotonin and Depression. Approx. 500 words.
St. John’s wort increases the activity of serotonin. But serotonin isn’t the be-all, end-all of happy brain chemicals. Some research suggests that depression is really tied to dopamine deficiency.

$30DeLaurentis/Bob’s Tech Talk: Password Managers, Digital Library Loans, Google Location Privacy Approx. 850 words.
Today, everyone has a long list of passwords to remember. Fortunately the problem has been solved with password managers. Although these began as tools for professionals, they have evolved into powerful, easy-to-use services for everyone.
$30Ginther/As I Recall: Western Union STOP Landline Telegrams Gone STOP My Career for Years STOP. Approx. 675 words.
When I returned to my job from military service in the late ‘60s, telegraph wires were no longer maintained and eventually went silent. The time-consuming method of transmitting a message or a train consist of a hundred cars or more by Morse code had been replaced by much faster Teletype machines.

$35Ambord: Is That Discount Trip Really Cheaper? Approx. 925 words.
Ask the person who carries your bags, parks your car, makes your drink, or drives your taxi. These are the people who most likely know the good spots. And, they work for tips, rather than being paid to promote certain brands.
$30Scott/Compulsive Traveler: California Dreamin’, Long Beach. Photos. Approx. 625 words.
Most people know that the Queen Mary was a luxury liner but forget the important role she played during WW II. Called “The Gray Ghost,” the ship was painted gray and became the largest and fastest war ship making it impossible for German U-boats to catch her.

$30Gendusa/Just Sayin’...: The Golden Teens and Old Trash. Approx. 775 words.
Yes, one day my heart might give me trouble because heart issues are rampant in my DNA. Yes, one day I might not recall a person’s name or where they once fit into my life. Yes, one day my obit will be in the paper instead of my column, but I refuse to die old.
$30Justo: License to Forget. Approx. 825 words.
My former husband contacted me recently and told me how much fun we used to have. I wanted to ask him, “WHO were you married to?” or in perfect English, “To WHOM were you married?” Either I forgot the reasons we were together or he forgot the reasons we weren’t! He’s my age.
$30Hollis: Too Young to Grow Old. Approx. 500 words.
I was eager for something different and I have always wanted to try line dancing. My family was dubious but I enrolled anyway. Turns out I have natural rhythm and a sense of the ridiculous that helps when I rotate and find the rest of the dancers facing me.

$30Beeson/Sam’s Side: Hey Hey, I'm a Monkee. Approx. 1075 words.
As I said at the beginning, I don’t gush. I am a grown man talking with a peer, not some silly sappy teenager fawning over an idol. Yeah….that’s a bunch of malarkey.  I gushed.  I gushed all over the place. I’m sure I was quite embarrassing.
$30Murphy/Social Insecurity: Blinding Lights, Deafening Sound, $11 Beer — What’s Not to Love? Approx. 750 words.
Based on the white-haired guys I saw playing onstage when viewing the band members with my binoculars, I would go a step further and say, rather than classic rock, that was more like Jurassic rock!
$30Kennedy/Matriarch Musings: Heet, Anyone? Approx. 750 words.
My attraction to Heet was twofold. First I was intrigued by the awful smell and curious to see if it smelled as bad on me as it did on Gram and Dad. Secondly, I loved the applicator dabber brush attached to the bottle cap.

$30Lynch/Silver Screen, Golden Memories: The Phantom’s Changing Face. Approx. 750 words. Photo.
Gerard Butler’s Phantom is a man with what looks like a few old burn scars on part of one side of his face. Nothing we can’t live with, even though he vainly keeps it covered. Lon Chaney’s face is a rotting, putrid skull. It gives us nightmares.
$30Healy: Shopping Cart Friends. Approx. 675 words.
Shopping cart friends are the ones who believe you’re worth saving. They’re the ones who truly value you, believe in your place in the world, always know you have something to contribute.
$30Hattes/Food Ventures: Our Elders Taught Us to Waste Not, Want Not. Still Good Advice. Approx. 650 words.
The most wasted foods are bread, milk, potatoes, cheese and apples, all for which you should be able to find recipes and be creative to keep them from going to the landfill.
$30Miss Nora: Why Shouldn’t I Know This? Approx. 625 words.
Aren’t I entitled to be a part of any financial arrangement we honor? Shouldn’t I have at the very least been consulted about the money we are giving his children?
$35Slayback: The Wrecking Crew Brings Real Surprise ... And Stress. Approx. 675 words.
“The wrecking crew,” as we call them, tossed the pebbles out of our walkway, threw pillows off the sofa, scattered toys about the house and yard — used for a moment, discarded for a new interest. Sometimes their voices were earsplitting!


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Tel: 303-355-3882; E-mail:
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$30Fowler/Eat Right Now! Eat Well and Be Holiday Healthy. Approx. 875 words.
Death rates from heart attacks and stroke as well as non-heart-related causes spike
during the holiday season and researches have coined this phenomenon, “Merry Christmas Coronary and Happy New Year’s Heart Attack.”

$30Beeson/Sam’s Side: It Was a Dark and Stormy Night. Approx. 1075 words.
The plywood, however, only covered a section of the open grave and there were was about a foot or so of open pit to look into. And…I HAD to look.
$30Breslin/Alive and Kidding: Halloween and the Mysterious ‘Witch’ Sisters. Approx. 725 words.
Her thin, very pale, wrinkled face and short gray hair did not even come close to the Medusa-like snakes and glowing red eyes I’d imagined she’d have. Even worse, she told us she and her sister were retired grammar-school teachers. I’d hoped for something much more exciting, like cleaver-wielding butcher’s assistants.
$30McCune/Tunnel Visions: Treats or Tricks? Scary Halloween-type Assumptions. Approx 675 words. Photo.
In addition to being a fun anecdote for my personal history, our little adventure convinced me that people see what they want to see, not what’s really there. I don’t think our costumes and makeup were particularly artistic, but not a soul really looked at US.
$30Healy: The Princess in the Pink Mask. Approx. 675 words.
Of all the Halloweens and costumes and masks I have ever worn before or since that
particular October in the 1950s, this is one of the most memorable to me. I remember
some earlier times with homemade disguises and dressing up, but this was my first
store-bought costume, and the first time I wore a mask.
$30Stone: Painted Halloween Skeletons. Approx. 700 words.
"Gonna be a great wall hanging. Maybe we should hang him by his head in the doorway?
How about putting him in the front hall closet?" I started laughing. I felt so worldly and grown-up.
$45Schlein/Washington Watch: Drug Pricing Policies – Rhetoric or Reality? Approx. 1125 words.
Nearly everyone, even the advocates of importation, concede that if states or the federal government tried to import large batches of those drugs from another country, manufacturers could and would quickly limit sales to that country, causing additional problems.
$45Schlein/Washington Watch: Grandparents Raising Grandchildren. Approx. 1000 words.
The task force will develop a collection of resources specifically targeted at grandparents raising grandchildren – everything from health care information to how to legally adopt their grandchildren, what Casey hopes becomes a "one-stop shop" to help folks when they take on the responsibility of raising their grandchildren.
$30Stinger: Washington Watch cartoons.
$35Ambord: Stuff You Should Know to Protect and Maximize Your Social Security Benefits. Approx. 1000 words.
If you’re preparing to move out of state in the near future, don’t rent the moving truck till you know if your state will take its own bite out of your Social Security check.
* * * *
Missing one year of wages from your record could cost you up to $30,000 in benefits, said the Social Security Administration, especially if that year would be one of your highest 35 years of earnings.

$35Ambord/Dollar Sense: Working While Retired. Approx. 825 words.
If you’re in the “plan to work” group and your plan is based on knowing your Social Security check and retirement savings won’t be enough to make ends meet, you could find yourself up a creek.
$30David/Legal Ease: Will You or Won’t You? It’s Complicated. Approx. 725 words.
Estate planning forms you find on the internet cannot be relied upon to address your specific concerns, are often poorly drafted and may not even comply with the laws of your state.

$30Fowler/Eat Right Now! Humans Need Fertilizer Too. Approx. 900 words.
The quality of your food determines the quality of your late-life aliveness. You become what you eat. What you must ask yourself: “Is this food feeding or depleting me?”
$30Cohen/Dear Pharmacist: Stop Counting Carbs, Eat Kaempferol. Approx. 475 words.
None of us want to count calories or evaluate ratios of carbs, proteins and fats! It’s much easier to just eat food that is bright and colorful and full of life-giving nutrients such as kaempferol. My vote is to stop counting carbs, just eat kaempferol.
$35Slayback/A Healthy Age: Master of Deception? Yes.  Partner in Heart Care? Who Knew? Approx. 525 words.
But, heart health? Who’d a’ thunk it! WebMD calls the “humble toothbrush” a powerful
weapon against heart attacks, strokes and other heart disease conditions.

$30DeLaurentis/Bob’s Tech Talk: Adobe Flash, Smartphone Spies, and Tech Tutorials. Approx. 850 words.
If an acquaintance sets up your phone, you should assume that your phone is an open book. If they know your user ID and password, you should assume they have access to all of your personal data.

$30Block: Cruise the Continents. Approx. 950 words. Photos.
Craft Cruises specializes in planning voyages for people who share a penchant for knitting, crocheting and similar pastimes. Along with the usual cruise ship activities, they take classes from experts in their area of special interest.
* * * * *
What may be the most other-worldly body of water anywhere is Ha Long Bay in Vietnam. Its 600-square-mile seascape is punctuated by soaring jagged spires, limestone islands, caves and inlets.
$30Scott: Frank L. Wright: ‘The Man who Built America.’ Approx. 600 words. Photos.
His architectural style was a reaction to the stuffy, ornate, and crowded look of the Victorian era.  He felt buildings should be inspired by the land and that there should be fewer rooms and that they should flow from one to another. 

$30Chamberlin: Marriage Is Not What You Expect. Approx. 775 words.
Married for 60 years! How long is . . .?  720 months! 260 birthday cards from grandma, 23 moves, 1,247 shoes, 165 stitches, and everyone ran away from home at least once.      $30Lawrenzi: The Sweet Power of Silence. Approx. 800 words.
I realize I am showing my age, but today's music just doesn't move me. As I age, silence is becoming more precious to me.
$30White-Walker: A Collection Of ‘Crumbs.’ Approx. 700 words.
Sorry to darken your day, but it was trying to work from your very own home with a retired husband around — God bless his soul. I couldn't even suggest for him to get the heck out and find a part-time job, because he thought that hovering over me WAS his job.
$30Bardy: Online Romance. Approx. 475 words.
There’s something alluring about talking to a faceless stranger. We probably all know someone who has experienced the seduction of getting to know someone through a singles group or a chat room.

$30Lynch/Silver Screen, Golden Memories: Small Screen to Big Screen. Approx. 775 words. Photos. Approx. 525 words.
In all these stories, the transference to film is done with sensitivity to the intimacy created by their original presentations on TV. There seems to be no “bigger is better” attitude in the film versions, and this is rare and fortunate.
$30Kennedy: Jeans with Holey Knees? Not for this Gal. Approx. 750 words.
I’m a sentimental old fool, I know, but they say clothes make the person, so what happens when the clothes have become rags? Is the person who once wore them less important or impressive in the eyes of our society?
$30Lebel: The Power of Prayer. Approx. 925 words.
The first time I had occasion to join a couple in wedlock was a very exciting and, I’ll admit, stressful time for me. I wanted things to go well...And I surely didn’t want to be the fault of this couple divorcing in later years. I can hear it now: “You know, Harold, if only we had picked a better person to marry us we might not be in this boat today.”
$30McCune/Tunnel Visions: Moving Right Along. Approx. 625 words.
In my regular rants against consumerism and avarice, I never counted myself among the bad guys. I was complaining to a friend when I realized the problem wasn’t too little storage, it was too many possessions.
$30Stone: Class of '55 Righted Social Wrongs Quietly. Approx. 825 words.
The Dean of Women gave her annual lecture to incoming coeds: she warned us not to wear the color red as it excites men, not to wear patent leather shoes as it reflects our underwear, and to place newspapers between our buttocks and boys' thighs if we wished to sit on their laps.

$30Handler: Literally. Approx. 900 words.
Now I kind of get why baby boomers were called baby boomers since there was a boom of baby births between 1946 and 1964, but none of us are babies anymore. Shouldn’t we be called Senior Segues or something?
$30Haynes: Not a Bad Dream – Naked in the Mall. Approx. 1025 words. Photo.
A man wearing a suit and a bad toupee soon entered the room, and asked me the question that I never thought I'd have to answer. "Why are you naked in my mall?"
$30Justo: I Am a Human Bing.  Approx. 1050 words.
Maybe I think this will increase my life expectancy and I'll have to live long enough to wear it all. Maybe it is an addiction and I've fallen down the proverbial rabbit hole and the only pills I need to ask Alice about are the ones on the tops I am buying.
$30Woflsie: Washed Up. Approx. 525 words.
My wife won’t let me load the dishwasher because she says I don’t respect the slots. Somehow I end up deforming all the Tupperware. I’m okay with cups and glasses, although Mary Ellen claims it matters which end is up, which I think is just a compulsive affectation on her part
$30Cuzzolina: On Parenting and All Those Diplomas. Approx. 800 words.
That’s where 18 years of cherished memories played wrecking ball to the wall I had so painstakingly constructed, brick-by-brick, around my brittle emotions. That’s where the tears flowed like there was a fire to put out, and where I yowled in bitter anguish at the shocking and insensitive swiftness of time.
$30Cook: Those Old-Time, Old-School Blues. Approx. 650 words.
One of the teachers, an ancient crustacean from an earlier era, was a stealth missile. She’d creep up behind a talking student and “snap” their chin with a flick of her wrist. This resulted in the victim biting his or her tongue. It was remarkably effective. The student thereafter remained silent while in line.
$30Hattes/Food Ventures: Mangoes for Health. Approx. 850 words. Photos.
A one cup serving of mangoes is just 100 calories, providing 100% of your daily vitamin C, 35% of your daily vitamin A and 12% of your daily fiber.


Tel: 303-355-3882; E-mail:
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$30Sprague: Santa Made Me Do It. Approx. 775 words. Photo.
Santa gave them a free junk food pass, and they took advantage of it. They munched on sugary cereal, and walked around holding the cereal box with sticky hands throughout the day. Emily even shared her cereal with the Cabbage Patch kid doll Santa brought her.
$30Breslin/Alive and Kidding: Oh, Cristmas Tree -- Ouch! Approx. 825 words.
Every time my mom asked if I wanted to help her put the angel hair on the tree, I’d make up some excuse not to – like I was going to go lie down because I thought my appendix might be on the verge of bursting.
$30White-Walker: Wrap Your Gifts in Gratitude. Approx. 625 words.
“Presents, why do people want presents when it’s the three major Fs those SOBs should be concerned about — food, fuel and flu shots.”
$ 30LeVia: Through Santa’s Eyes. Photo. Approx. 1125 words.
As the years passed, Santa’s spirit and I became more intimately acquainted. I began to see through Santa’s eyes. I saw – I understood – an unfathomable, unconditional acceptance of  every person as an equal member within the family of humanity. I recognized a basic goodness within each of us.
$30Hattes/Food Ventures: Easy Holiday Entertaining. Photos. Approx. 600 words.
Each recipe includes directions for setting it up to cook the night before or in the morning. Beyond recipes for golden borscht, strawberry cornbread, fruity rutabagas, chick’n & dumplings, there are many recipes using pumpkin and/or cranberries, favorites for this time of year.
$35Slayback/A Healthy Age: If I Can Do It, Anybody Can. Approx. 750 words.
I ate secretly because I liked getting away with crime. Diets never work for me because they unleash my rebellious child. Nobody’s going to tell me what I can’t eat, not even me.
* * * * *
You’re gonna start getting compliments. You’ll look different after you’ve exerted yourself. We’re taking about vitality here, energy level, and the appearance of a little muscle tone. You’ll want to proselytize and get everyone out.

$45Schlein/Washington Watch. Capitol Hill Bill and Pill Political Potpourri. Approx. 1750 words.
Grabbing for the extra dollars is a common practice known as "balance billing." But Sen. Bill Cassidy, R-La., who introduced the legislation, calls it "surprise billing which is basically uncapped by anything but a sense of shame."
* * * * *
The final deal required the drugmakers to shift billions of dollars in Medicare drug costs away from seniors and into drug companies. It required the pharmaceutical industry to cover more of the costs seniors incur when they fall into Medicare's "donut hole," the vortex seniors get into when their out-of-pocket drug costs go beyond roughly $3,750 and until they reach about $5,000, when insurance kicks back in.
$30Stinger: Washington Watch cartoon.

$35Telleen-Lawton/Money Sense: The Retirement Gap. Approx. 950 words.
Between 2010 and 2012, the percentage of people 45 to 60 who planned to delay retirement rose from 42 percent to 62 percent, according to the Conference Board, a non-profit business membership and research group.
$30David/Legal Ease: Who Owns This? What a Difference a Few Words Can Make. Approx. 750 words
Consequently, upon your father’s passing, your sister did not become the sole owner of the property. Instead, she simply retained her one-half interest in the property and you became the owner of the other one-half interest in the property.
$35Telleen-Lawton/Money Sense: Scams and Cyber Security – And How to Protect Yourself. Approx. 850 words.
That was the beginning of an aggravating few months of my life. While my computer and credit cards are long since replaced and passwords changed, I am left with an unwanted sense of vulnerability.

$30Hansen: Be Still My Head – Meet My New Cyber Buddy. Approx. 925 words.
I had to lay on the CAT scan table while the technician put a warm, white fishnet over my face and shaped it to fit me exactly. This would harden, and be placed over my head during the procedure, where it would be snapped to the table to keep my head from moving.
$35Slayback/A Healthy Age: Eliminating the ‘Complaint Department.’ Approx. 550 words.
Gluten triggers an immune response in the small intestine which produces inflammation with potential to damage the lining of the small intestine, preventing absorption of some nutrients. WebMD names the nutrients as fat, calcium, iron and folate.
$35Slayback/A Healthy Age: Vaccination for the Senior Nation. Approx. 700 words.
* “Human diversity reaches its apex in old age.” Due to economic, educational, genetic, illness and lifestyle factors, a fit 85 year old can outpace a frail 60 year old.
* Drugs, tested on younger people, are often ineffective or dangerous when administered to elderly.
$30Cohen/Dear Pharmacist: 6 Ways to Protect Your Eyesight. Approx. 500 words.
To protect eyesight, make sure that your diet contains plenty of eye-loving foods. These include citrus foods, nuts, hemp seeds, walnuts, almonds, cashews, salads, sweet potatoes, pumpkin seeds, and seafood.
$35Slayback/A Healthy Age. Do You Really Need that Daily Aspirin? Approx. 650 words.
I observe doctor’s inclination to find disease and treat it with a pill. If we are past 70, we may not be perfect specimens — but do we need another drug whose side effects could cause a new problem?

$30DeLaurentis/Bob’s Tech Talk: Best Android Phone, Aging iPhones, and ZIP Disk Data Recovery. Approx. 825 words.
Saving data from aging disks is a never-ending challenge. My closet is a museum of old hardware and I have run into this problem a number of times. Locating a service that will copy your files is the easiest method, but you have to trust the provider will respect your privacy. If the disks once contained old tax returns or banking records, consider the privacy implications before using a service.

$30Telleen-Lawton: The ‘Granny Gears’ Wheeled across Croatia. Photos. Approx. 750 words.
The Croats are accustomed to and patient with bikers. Their year-round outdoor weather, well-maintained roads, and breath-taking scenery has transformed the coast into a biker's destination.
$30Scott/Compulsive Traveler: Falling for New York. Photos. Approx. 625 words.
Letchworth State Park is renowned as the “Grand Canyon of the East.” The Genesee River roars over three major waterfalls – one as high as 600 feet. There are 66 miles of trails in the historic park along with a variety of family-friendly activities. In 2015 the park won the USA Today choice award for the best state park in the United States.
$30Haynes: Bus 96 to Atlantic City. Approx. 900 words. Photos.
I started to fall in love with life on the open road. Passing by historical landmarks, catching up on my reading, and local gossip from the other passengers on the bus. So, when I read the company’s itinerary and saw the trip to Atlantic City I signed up immediately.

$30Lawrenzi: Put on a Happy Face . Approx. 725 words.
“Today I don't really worry about anything,” Van Dyke says. “It was a waste of time when I was younger and at 92, what's the point?”
$30Beeson/Sam’s Side: A Compromising Retirement. Approx. 675 words.
How sweet that will be. How sweet it WOULD be if we both shared the same ideas of
retirement. I’m the “travel the world” type of senior.  She’s the “arts and crafts” senior. You see the problem.
$30Joseph: Running Cold, Running Hard, Running Old. Photo. Approx. 650 words.
It seemed to take forever before the starter pulled the trigger. Hearing the gun go off, I sprinted as fast as I could and heard the crowd cheering as I battled for first place. And then my left hamstring muscle yelled at me, “Not today, big fellow!”
$30White-Walker: Back To The Beauty Basics — A Laxative, Vaseline Petroleum Jelly and Lemon Juice. Approx. 800 words.
There are those secure men and women who will come out with highly impressive
statements like, “I’ve earned every gray hair on my head, and the sagging frown on this puss of mine, and I’m not hiding them from the world. ” But just go snooping into their medicine cabinet and there they all are — Clairol, Just For Men, anti-wrinkle cream and firming foam.

$30Lynch/Silver Screen, Golden Memories: Aboard the Twentieth Century. Photos. Approx. 775 words.
This is the true genius of the way Barrymore plays the role. Like a man who knows the theatre, knows himself, and knows how to manipulate reality, he sometimes is so swept away by what he himself is making up, he almost thinks it real.
$30Cook: How Hot Was It? Coping with ‘Lizzie Borden’ Weather. Photo. Approx. 600 words.
Under the best of conditions, mutton stew is not appealing, and rancid mutton stew is challenging. The cook, testifying at Lizzie’s trial, went into great detail about the state of that stew. Reading the transcript is enough to gag a maggot.
$30Murphy/Social Insecurity: I Don’t Recall Aunt Hattie Ever Milking an Almond. Approx. 825 words.
I started thinking about this childhood experience on the farm a few months ago when I noticed changes taking place in our kitchen. Things like soy milk, miso, and tofu — lots of tofu — started showing up in the frig.
$30Kennedy/Common Sense After 70: Anyone Need a Right Boot? Photos. Approx. 750 words.
Sometimes it seems like we repeat the same old expressions because they fit the situation. As we age, there’s no point in trying to come up with new clever sayings when the old ones fill the bill just fine. We oldsters have our own codes just like youngsters have their text talk. I like ours better.

$30Rearick/Puttin’ on the Gritz; That’s All, Folks! Approx. 800 words.
Clapping his hands in little boy type-glee, he is happy to oblige my grandson with as many flimsy wooden crates as he wants. By six o’clock this afternoon, no doubt my yard will be a land mine of booby-trapped carrots and lettuce and will likely catch more ants than Easter bunnies.
$30Bardy/Laverne’s Views: Next Year, I’m Cancelling August. Approx. 575 words.
We were still in the first week of August when I walked downstairs to our basement and spotted a puddle. I thought about hanging out a sign, Puddles Are Us. This time it was our hot water heater.
$30Laundrie: To All the Fitness Fads I Loved Before. Approx. 625 words.
Meanwhile, poor Pedal still sat alone near the driveway. Maybe I could start a dating service for exercise equipment. I’d submit the first ad. “Single stationary bike looking for love. Preference given to those with soft cheeks.”
$30Brinker: Spare Yourself the Hassles of No Spare. Approx. 575 words.
Moral of this story: Don't get a car which has no spare tire (one-third of new cars now do not come with one).